Bret Harte All Stars

Inspired by Jeffrey Ho’s 2009 Bret Harte All-Stars post, I decided to create a more updated version. (Don’t worry, despite the shady looking url, the link is quite safe.) I was so impressed by the level of everyone’s improvement that I decided to cut down on the humor, and just heap on the praise.

I present to you the 2010 Bret Harte ‘Early Summer League’ All-Stars:

Name: Daniel Wu
Skill Set: Impossible shots
Scouting Report: While already near unstoppable with his ability to unleash a barrage of 3 pointers and running leaning two pointers over multiple defenders, Daniel still has that extra gear of tough defense that he reserves for matchups against Allen.

Name: Allen Yeh
Skill Set: Dream Shake
Scouting Report: Once saddled with the unflattering, but accurate, nickname of ‘Pump Faking Faggot’, Allen has evolved his offensive game to a whole new level. The pump fakes from 18 feet out that fooled no one have been replaced with pump fakes from 3 feet out that fool everyone.

Name: Jeffrey Ho
Skill Set: Rebounding Monster
Scouting Report: Won the ‘Most Improved Player’ award. Came back to Bret Harte and impressed everyone by showing off an extended shooting range out to 20 feet. Still gets rebounds like a hungry hungry hippo gets marbles.

Name: Mikey Liu
Skill Set: Everything
Scouting Report: Mikey has traded in his crazy shots for a steadying presence at the point. Cuts through defenses like a chainsaw on butter. Still can fly and hit outside jumpers. The Asian American Astronaut. (Credit to Allen for the nickname) 

Name: Theo Chao
Skill Set: Inside game, being tall(ish)
Scouting Report: Being the tallest of a group of short people, Theo is often forced to defend the opposing teams’ 7 footers. He responds well and does not back down, even when the opponent throws elbows like Dwight Howard. When motivated, Theo is capable of going nova on offense.

Name: Katherine Pan
Skill Set: Quick Trigger
Scouting Report: The Asian Ray Allen, Katherine is a certified sharpshooter who claimed to be ‘rusty’… while dropping bombs on everyone. If Katherine is not allowed to touch a basketball for a whole year, she would probably become the best basketball player ever due to ‘rust’.

Name: Andy Liang
Skill Set: Handles the ball like it’s a 3rd arm, and I don’t mean in a deformed way
Scouting Report: Not wanting to be selfish and steal all the glory with death defying reverse layups coupled with blazing hot foot-on-the-line outside shooting, Andy has been looking to create for others.

Name: Spencer Eng
Skill Set: Not hanging out with the Bret Harte All Stars
Scouting Report: Had to “study” ‘Financial Economics’, and then bolted for LA when we wanted to play with him

Name: Jeffrey Poon
Skill Set: Showing up at the wrong time
Scouting Report: Arrived on the Sunday that everyone left