Tuesday, June 01, 2010

LOTR All-Star Basketball Team

Unfortunately it has been a few years since I’ve read the books or watched the movies so I don’t remember all the characters. If I had to make a 12 man team from the “good guys”, here would be my all-star team.

Starters

Gandalf (Center) – He has the mentality of a center. Will protect the paint at all costs. “You. Shall. Not. Pass.”

Legolas (Shooting guard) – A great long distance shooter. Never misses.

Aragon and Bormoir (Small/Power Foward) – Generic white players. Probably not good at jumping but good at shooting and fundamentals.

Gimli (Point Guard) - Overweight Boykins, can set a few screens with his ‘heft’. Or something.

Bench

Hobbits (4) - Frodo would be a bad pg because  he doesn’t share, and they’re all like 3 feet tall anyway.

Ents – Slow and useless, but I need more players so they will have to do. Maybe put them in to commit some hard, bone crushing fouls.

Eagle – Yeah… I don’t even know anymore.

Green ghost dude – Is a ghost so will not experience fatigue.

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I just realized that the main company accompanying Frodo and the ring to Mordor consisted of nine people. Nine. It’d be seven if you count hobbits as half. And it’d be something like 13 if you measured how much food hobbits eat. They seriously chose a horrible group of people too.

Hobbits(4) – All useless. Frodo is slightly less useless because he has the ring.

Aragon – Has a broken sword.

Bromoir – Only reason he wasn’t branded a traitor was because his attempt at stealing the ring failed so miserably that it resulted in his death.

Legolas – Hates dwarves.

Gimli – Hates elves. (Good team chemistry)

Gandalf – Only person who can do anything, but had to sacrifice himself 10 minutes into the journey to save everyone else’s incompetent butts.