Although I enjoy being the "hottest" of all my friends, since I'm a good guy I will help you out. The one main thing you have to remember is - wear tighter clothes. This applies to shirts, jackets, pants, socks, shoes, underwear... as long as your body shape is not like a potato or a noodle. Now I know what you're thinking. If you dress too well people might make the wrong assumptions about your sexual orientation. But don't worry, there's a delicate balance that I have already discovered for you.
How to wear tight pants -
Too loose --> Hot (I pretty much look like this) --> Gay
And with hoodies -
Oversized --> Perfect fit --> Gay
Are you beginning to see the pattern?
Too big --> Yummy --> Checkerboard (gay)
(notice how the gay one always has some non-neutral color, like red/pink/orange/blue/green/yellow)
If it's too hard for you to tell what constitutes "tight", you can always go down a size. For example, if you're normally a M, get a S. If you're a L, get a M. If you're a XL, go work out until you can fit into a M.
After you start dressing awesome your jealous friends might be like "Hey bro why are you wearing girl's clothes?" If this happens, just make up an expression you can use that will make them feel fat. After you give them that face, tell them you're not wearing tight clothes, they're "fitted" clothes. Another good idea is to practice some stances where the sunlight hits you at all the right places and makes you so attractive they have nothing to say (I've used this perhaps one or twelve times... it always works).
But of course, who cares what they say! Fashion is for you to express your individuality (or to get girls). Now that you've mastered the basics, you can also add in a few accessories:
Cardigan --> Blazer --> Man-purse
(btw these are all good poses to practice too)
This was actually a post by Coni, posing as Chubbers. Check out her blog and my corresponding post here
