We're going off to college. We have to make friends. New ones. For the people with poor memory, that means forgetting people from high school to make room for the new acquaintances. It is a sad sad thing but it is inevitable. It will be even more drastic of a change for the people who are going far away, such as to the miserable place known as the east coast. Although I myself am not very good at making friends, I have my own opinion on this matter.
There are six categories of people. I would make a chart to show you, but I do not know how to make charts and put them in here. Also, charts are for snobs. There are three types of people in the sense that some people talk a lot to everyone, some people talk a lot to only people they are friends with, and some people don't talk at all. There are two other groups. People who talk about interesting things, and people who talk about things that are not interesting.
1. Interesting/Talkative
These people are fun to be around. They talk a lot to you even if you are a stranger, and they talk about interesting things. They are the life of a party. They are who you want to hang around.
2. Interesting/Talkative to friends
These people are okay too because they are still willing to talk if you just talk to them first and introduce yourself. As long as you don't scare the grape juice out of them upon first sight, you might actually get some conversation going. These people are fun to be around too.
3. Interesting/Not Talkative
These people don't talk. But they are very interesting people because they may be all mysterious and cool looking. These people are the ones who have sunglasses on and just leaning in the corner, slowly observing the world. They are interesting, but unaccessible.
4. Not Interesting/Talkative
You want to either shoot these people, or at least cause some bodily harm to them. These people are easily distinguished by the dead bodies lying around them from people being literally bored to death. If you see them run, you can either be polite, stay, and listen, and eventually die, or you can run for your life.
5. Not Interesting/Talkative to Friends
Sucks to be their friends. That's all I can say. The only good thing that can come out of this is when a lot of not interesting people all band together and talk to each other.
6. Not Interesting/Not Talkative
This is me. Don't be like me. Don't do it.
I hope I don't meet a lot of "Not Interesting/Not Talkative" people at my college. Maybe we could all hang out and upgrade one level to "Not Interesting/Talkative to Friends" one day!
Monday, June 11, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
How To Write An Essay
A lot of people say that the school system is flawed. Let us assume it is. Now since the school system is flawed, I will also declare that the way we teach kids to write essays is also flawed. The first thing I learned about writing essays is to have five paragraphs. The first one is the introduction, the middle three are body points, and the last one is the conclusion. Now, I think that if you really want five paragraphs go ahead. However, the content of each section should be different. In today's post, I will cover in depth the knicks and knacks of the introduction.
The introduction is the first thing people see so you need an attention grabber. Wait no, I take that back. The title is the first thing people see. Wait wait, I take that back too. Since this is about an essay that is turned in, usually the first thing seen is the name of the writer on top of the paper. So, back to that attention grabber that is oh so important. According to my theory, the name is the first thing seen, and therefore it is where the attention grabber should be. There are a lot of different ways that you can grab attention. You can change the color of the name. You can write your name bigger. Or you can just bite the top right of the paper. Leaving teeth marks has to be an attention getter.
If you want to go with the more traditional format, put the attention getter in the first sentence. However, don't make the easy mistake of simply starting out with some form of a question. I have always wondered how teachers could handle reading question after question in the beginning of an essay. Have you ever wanted to climb a tree? Did you know that there are homosexual goats? Is there some you have always wanted but could never get because you are pitiful? Don't you ever get sick of reading questions? I blue gafunkle sinking toaster? Questions at the beginning of an essay are just too played out. They also don't really get anyone's attention. If you really wanted to get attention, the obvious thing to do is make the first 5 words size 72 font and red, while the next 5 words size 4 font and blue. Now, that is a good attention getter. I would give you an example but I don't know how.
The next few lines in the introduction should introduce the reader to what you're going to talk about. There are two ways to do this though. One is to outright state what you are going to say. This informs the reader exactly what you will say, and then they may be wowed by the way it is said. But! This takes out any suspense and if your body paragraphs are bad, then your introduction has ruined any interest in the body. So, what I propose is to confuse the reader with the introduction. Blabber, ramble, go off on tangents. Whatever it takes. Just make sure they do not know what is coming next so when they do get to your body paragraphs, they will still be trying to figure out what is going on, and thus be more interested.
If you implement my tips, you will definitely see an improvement in your writing. Or... your writing will turn out to be like mine, and you will fail all your English classes like I do. And people will also think you are crazy. But be sure to read the next post on body paragraphs!
The introduction is the first thing people see so you need an attention grabber. Wait no, I take that back. The title is the first thing people see. Wait wait, I take that back too. Since this is about an essay that is turned in, usually the first thing seen is the name of the writer on top of the paper. So, back to that attention grabber that is oh so important. According to my theory, the name is the first thing seen, and therefore it is where the attention grabber should be. There are a lot of different ways that you can grab attention. You can change the color of the name. You can write your name bigger. Or you can just bite the top right of the paper. Leaving teeth marks has to be an attention getter.
If you want to go with the more traditional format, put the attention getter in the first sentence. However, don't make the easy mistake of simply starting out with some form of a question. I have always wondered how teachers could handle reading question after question in the beginning of an essay. Have you ever wanted to climb a tree? Did you know that there are homosexual goats? Is there some you have always wanted but could never get because you are pitiful? Don't you ever get sick of reading questions? I blue gafunkle sinking toaster? Questions at the beginning of an essay are just too played out. They also don't really get anyone's attention. If you really wanted to get attention, the obvious thing to do is make the first 5 words size 72 font and red, while the next 5 words size 4 font and blue. Now, that is a good attention getter. I would give you an example but I don't know how.
The next few lines in the introduction should introduce the reader to what you're going to talk about. There are two ways to do this though. One is to outright state what you are going to say. This informs the reader exactly what you will say, and then they may be wowed by the way it is said. But! This takes out any suspense and if your body paragraphs are bad, then your introduction has ruined any interest in the body. So, what I propose is to confuse the reader with the introduction. Blabber, ramble, go off on tangents. Whatever it takes. Just make sure they do not know what is coming next so when they do get to your body paragraphs, they will still be trying to figure out what is going on, and thus be more interested.
If you implement my tips, you will definitely see an improvement in your writing. Or... your writing will turn out to be like mine, and you will fail all your English classes like I do. And people will also think you are crazy. But be sure to read the next post on body paragraphs!
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