Spring Break: Day 1

Everyone laughs at Shaquille O’Neal for being so bad at shooting free throws. I sometimes feel sorry for him, but then I remember that he was born huge and gets paid millions to be huge so I stop feeling sorry for him and start feeling sorry for myself. I then join in the derision of his free throw shooting. But is it really fair of me to laugh at him? Can I shoot better than Shaq? I set out to find out.

I went out to the local middle school to begin my challenge. I started warming up like I always do, with a free throw. It was an airball. This one was not to count in my overall percentage. I then took an assortment of jumpers, many of which did not go in. There were many people around, both young and old. I could feel their laughter, even though it was silent. I yelled back, silently.

After my warmup, I began my lengthy trial. The setup was simple enough. Shoot 100 free throws. Shaq is shooting 49.6% this season. I was actually not aware of his season average until I started writing this so I was gunning for his career average. 52.7% for his career. 53 free throws and I get bragging rights, as minimal as they may be.

Things started out alright. I am not the best free throw shooter ever. I am not even second best. I would place myself somewhere between ‘not that good’, and ‘better than someone who has never touched a basketball’. After 30 heaves toward the rim, I had gotten 15 shots in. On one hand, I was pleased that I had made 15 more than I had anticipated, but ultimately 50% is not a great number. I decided to, as they say, ‘flip the switch’.

The switch either was not flipped or was utterly useless, even as a placebo. After 10 more shots, for a total of 40, I had made 20. Same percentage as before, but still within striking distance of my goal.

Many shots later, the landscape had not changed. I stood at a 40 for 80 mark. Not great, but once again, the target was still reachable. Shaq always says he makes them when it counts (he doesn’t), and I had to do the same. I needed to shoot 65% the rest of the way. This is where this changes from an inspiring, uplifting story, to a tale of despair and sadness.

Bottom line? I shot 5 for 20 the rest of the way. 45 for 100 overall.

But all is not lost. Here is a list of a few of the more notable NBA players that have a lower free throw percentage than I do.

Andris Biedrins (4-25, 16%), Kwame Brown (29-81, 35.8%), DeAndre Jordan (38-102, 37.3%), Ben Wallace (55-141, 39%)

While I may have failed today, I can’t overreact to this. Today I may be a 45% free throw shooter, but tomorrow I may be shooting 25% on 3 pointers instead. You just never know with these things.