Next!

I was recently reminded of the MTV show Next, and I started to imagine myself in that show. I know I wouldn't fit in at all because there seems to be a level 9 shallowness rating and a level 12 douchbagginess rating but I'd bring in my own twist. Here's how my episode of Next would go.

Setting: Mouth of a volcano

(Girl 1 comes out of van)

Girl 1: I like ice cream.

Me: What happened to your face? Next!!!

(I push her into flaming pit of lava. Girl 1 Screams.)

(Girl 2 comes out of van)

Girl 2: I just want money so I'll act like a slut.

Me: You look like you just want money so you'll act like a slut. Next!!!

(I kick her into flaming pit of lava. Girl 2 screams, but not as loud as Girl 1.)

(Switch to shot of van with the 3 remaining girls inside.)

Girl 3: How come they're not coming back?

Girl 4: I heard screams too!

Girl 5: I'm really pretty.

(Girl 3 comes out.)

Me: Double You Tee Eff, are you a man?? Next!

(Dragon pops out of lava and eats Girl 3. Girl 4 comes out of van)

Girl 4: I li-

(I throw a pie in Girl 4's face, just for laughs. Then I electrocute her, just for fun. Girl 4 runs away crying and falls into lava pit. Girl 5 comes out.)

Girl 5: I'm really pretty.

Me: Yeah but you smell.

(Dragon causes mini earthquake and Girl 5 loses balance because she is an airhead and falls into lava pit.)


The show would end with me riding off into the sunset while the camera men try to flee from the man eating dragon.