Basketball 9/21

• I got burned several times by someone wearing a ‘Got Ginobili?’ shirt.
• I made zero shots.
• My brother and I ran into each other. He was either setting me a screen, hoping I would set a screen, or wondering why I was in the way.
• My best play was a monster block (by me) that led to an easy fast break layup (by me), only to find out that someone had been fouled before the block.
• Also, this conversation with my mom

  [9:49:18 PM] Mom: How was your game?
  [9:49:37 PM] Patrick: good
  [9:49:46 PM] Mom: Won
  [9:49:49 PM] Patrick: lost
  [9:49:56 PM] Mom: Haha

Role Models

Everyone feels down about themselves at one point or another. At times like that, one needs a role model. I have mainly focused on two people for inspiration throughout my life. For me, Kobe Bryant’s stern, unwavering, ice cold demeanor in the storm of trouble is a beacon of light for emulation. Eminem’s brilliant ability to shrug off negativity and recover from drug addiction is straight up dope. If you were like me and chose these two people as role models, I’m here to tell you that you chose the wrong people.

Look at what Eminem looks like now.

Scary.

And look at Kobe Bryant’s victory cheer.

He looks more like the village idiot trying to attack the basketball with imaginary axes than a basketball player.

How the mighty have fallen. Any suggestions for new role models?

<3 you Vian!!!!

Congrats on finding this :)

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LOTR All-Star Basketball Team

Unfortunately it has been a few years since I’ve read the books or watched the movies so I don’t remember all the characters. If I had to make a 12 man team from the “good guys”, here would be my all-star team.

Starters

Gandalf (Center) – He has the mentality of a center. Will protect the paint at all costs. “You. Shall. Not. Pass.”

Legolas (Shooting guard) – A great long distance shooter. Never misses.

Aragon and Bormoir (Small/Power Foward) – Generic white players. Probably not good at jumping but good at shooting and fundamentals.

Gimli (Point Guard) - Overweight Boykins, can set a few screens with his ‘heft’. Or something.

Bench

Hobbits (4) - Frodo would be a bad pg because  he doesn’t share, and they’re all like 3 feet tall anyway.

Ents – Slow and useless, but I need more players so they will have to do. Maybe put them in to commit some hard, bone crushing fouls.

Eagle – Yeah… I don’t even know anymore.

Green ghost dude – Is a ghost so will not experience fatigue.

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I just realized that the main company accompanying Frodo and the ring to Mordor consisted of nine people. Nine. It’d be seven if you count hobbits as half. And it’d be something like 13 if you measured how much food hobbits eat. They seriously chose a horrible group of people too.

Hobbits(4) – All useless. Frodo is slightly less useless because he has the ring.

Aragon – Has a broken sword.

Bromoir – Only reason he wasn’t branded a traitor was because his attempt at stealing the ring failed so miserably that it resulted in his death.

Legolas – Hates dwarves.

Gimli – Hates elves. (Good team chemistry)

Gandalf – Only person who can do anything, but had to sacrifice himself 10 minutes into the journey to save everyone else’s incompetent butts.

Bret Harte All Stars

Inspired by Jeffrey Ho’s 2009 Bret Harte All-Stars post, I decided to create a more updated version. (Don’t worry, despite the shady looking url, the link is quite safe.) I was so impressed by the level of everyone’s improvement that I decided to cut down on the humor, and just heap on the praise.

I present to you the 2010 Bret Harte ‘Early Summer League’ All-Stars:

Name: Daniel Wu
Skill Set: Impossible shots
Scouting Report: While already near unstoppable with his ability to unleash a barrage of 3 pointers and running leaning two pointers over multiple defenders, Daniel still has that extra gear of tough defense that he reserves for matchups against Allen.

Name: Allen Yeh
Skill Set: Dream Shake
Scouting Report: Once saddled with the unflattering, but accurate, nickname of ‘Pump Faking Faggot’, Allen has evolved his offensive game to a whole new level. The pump fakes from 18 feet out that fooled no one have been replaced with pump fakes from 3 feet out that fool everyone.

Name: Jeffrey Ho
Skill Set: Rebounding Monster
Scouting Report: Won the ‘Most Improved Player’ award. Came back to Bret Harte and impressed everyone by showing off an extended shooting range out to 20 feet. Still gets rebounds like a hungry hungry hippo gets marbles.

Name: Mikey Liu
Skill Set: Everything
Scouting Report: Mikey has traded in his crazy shots for a steadying presence at the point. Cuts through defenses like a chainsaw on butter. Still can fly and hit outside jumpers. The Asian American Astronaut. (Credit to Allen for the nickname) 

Name: Theo Chao
Skill Set: Inside game, being tall(ish)
Scouting Report: Being the tallest of a group of short people, Theo is often forced to defend the opposing teams’ 7 footers. He responds well and does not back down, even when the opponent throws elbows like Dwight Howard. When motivated, Theo is capable of going nova on offense.

Name: Katherine Pan
Skill Set: Quick Trigger
Scouting Report: The Asian Ray Allen, Katherine is a certified sharpshooter who claimed to be ‘rusty’… while dropping bombs on everyone. If Katherine is not allowed to touch a basketball for a whole year, she would probably become the best basketball player ever due to ‘rust’.

Name: Andy Liang
Skill Set: Handles the ball like it’s a 3rd arm, and I don’t mean in a deformed way
Scouting Report: Not wanting to be selfish and steal all the glory with death defying reverse layups coupled with blazing hot foot-on-the-line outside shooting, Andy has been looking to create for others.

Name: Spencer Eng
Skill Set: Not hanging out with the Bret Harte All Stars
Scouting Report: Had to “study” ‘Financial Economics’, and then bolted for LA when we wanted to play with him

Name: Jeffrey Poon
Skill Set: Showing up at the wrong time
Scouting Report: Arrived on the Sunday that everyone left