AP Chem Syllabus

I found my old AP Chemistry syllabus from 2005 (sophmore junior year). You might know that my Chem AP class wasn't the best place to actually learn chem. It was a very good place to do math homework and brush up on poker skills though. In case you need more clarification, the teacher's name starts with 'W' and ends with 'oo'. Here's a quick rundown of the syllabus.

What it says: Spending 30-60 minutes each night reading and reviewing text in addition to working on homework and class assignments.

What really happened: We spent 30-60 minutes the night before each test and some of lunch time reading the text for the first time and copied all homework or class assignments.
---------------------------------------
What it says: Labs are an important part of the curriculum.

What really happened: We did no labs for 90% of the year. Then someone asked why we did no labs and we started doing a lab every single day. We also were proud that we set off the school fire alarm by burning things we didn't know about.
---------------------------------------
What it says: Independent work is an expectation of this course. Study groups are highly recommended.

What really happened: Independent work was rare. Answer copying groups were highly recommended.
---------------------------------------
What it says: Minimal extra credit is offered during the year.

What really happened: Extra credit was given if you were a girl and you whined constantly during class, before class, after class, and after school.
---------------------------------------
What it it says: Students should consider the serious time commitment required by this class.

What really happened: Students should take this class if they like playing chess and not learning chemistry.

Search Engine Traffic

The picture above is a short glimpse into the search results from google and yahoo that led to my blog. I got these from Google Analytics, in case you were wondering.

The first search term is "chubber fish". I was curious what that would return so I typed it into Google myself. I got a whole lot of... nothing. I don't think there is a such thing as a chubber fish, and if there is, no one cares about it. I did stumble upon a nice family blog detailing the life of their kid, but the kid wasn't a fishy.

The second term doesn't make much sense to me. Chicks aren't chubby.

The third one is such a good oppurtunity for a fat joke but I've moved on from that. The 3rd person is probably some vegetarian wondering why he/she is still chubby. Time for a new diet I suppose.

Number four is just...weird.

Five and six are whatever. Number 6 might have even been me because I'm very forgetful.

Number 7.... yeah....

Number 8 is whatever again.

I'm just glad that I was able to help out number 9. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, just read the previous post.

Number 10 is fat joke land again. My answer to that would be to close your eyes, and tape your nose, and eat so much hot sauce your taste buds get burned off.

Tips To Not Be Hungry

I think I'm capable of making a significant contribution to the Mercury News. I really do. Yesterday the front page article was about how hot it's going to get, and it was titled "Playing it cool". Nothing wrong with that on a slow news day, or when the newspaper doesn't feel like doing real work to cover a real story. Anyways, where would I be able to help? Well, there's a nice little box on the front page titled "Tips To Stay Cool", and it gives some pointers on how to stay cool. I'll shorten them a little and type them out here for your reference in case you need ideas on how to stay cool.

-Stay in air-conditioned rooms

-Reduce body temperature by using cold compresses, misting yourself with water, and taking cool showers and baths

-Avoid physical exertion

-Wear lightweight and light-colored clothing

-Drink plenty of fluids. However, if your doctor has told you to limit your fluid intake, ask your doctor how much should drink during the heat

My reaction to this can be summed up in 2 big words and some symbols of emphasis: NO DUH!!!! The first three items are so obvious it hurt my head to even consider the idea that people wouldn't know them, giving a new meaning to painfully obvious. The fourth item is pretty simple too. Don't wear heavy pieces of clothing because they are usually made to keep you warmer. The last one is a joke. Drink lots of water, unless you're told not to drink lots of water.

I was thinking that if they had to have someone make this list, I could make an equally useful list too! Here's mine.

Tips To Not Be Hungry
-Eat food
-Eat food
-Go out to a restaurant and eat food
-Do not NOT eat food
-Eat lots of food. However, if you are not hungry anymore, stop eating food.

I'm really disapointed in the ever-decreasing quality of the local newspaper. Either the Mercury News had to reduce headcount by 50% and accidentally fired the smart 50%, or they decided to change their target audience to 1st graders and polar bears who just moved to America.

My Cell Phone

My cell phone has a great battery life. In fact, the battery life of my cell phone is amazing. It is mind blowing to the point that if I didn't decide to investigate this mystery of epic proportions, my head would have likely been blown by the sheer knowledge that I don't have the knowledge of why my cell phone's battery lasts so long. So anyways, I took a break from sleeping to investigate this and I came up with some results.

1. I like carrots. But I'm not a rabbit. A very curious matter I must pursue someday.

2.

3. I don't talk on the phone a lot.



After these 3 exciting new observations were made, I had to sift through them to find out which ones were important. Obviously one of them could be thrown out right off the bat. The second one has a pie chart, and statistics can always be manipulated so we're left with the first and last one. After lengthy consideration, I decided to take a closer look at the 3rd one, simply because I don't want to have to find out that I'm really a rabbit.

I went into my call time logs and came up with these numbers.
I've had my phone for 210 days exactly today.
I've sent 897 minutes of calls.
I've received 423 minutes of calls.
This comes out to 6.19 minutes on the phone a day.

Points of Interest To ME:
- I've sent 2 times more minutes of calls than received
- Seconds are counted as seconds, so a 1 second call doesn't get rounded up to 1 minute
- This average is very puzzling to me because I go many days without using the phone. The last time I made/received a call was 4 days ago. Before that, it was 2 days ago. Before that, 2 days. Before that 4 days.
- I also don't recall talking too long on the phone so I'm not sure where 6.19 minutes a day is coming from.

So what does this all mean? I don't know. I kind of lost interest while making the pie chart. But I do know that my phone will be in tip top shape for a long time. I'm sure there are lots of people who have a lower average than me too. Also, the only way I can account for the average time is to assume that there are fairies in this world and they like messing with my phone. Damn fairies.

Being Optimistic Is Easy

Being happy in life is all about perspective. Little things can make or break your day, depending on how you look at things. Big things can catapult your life onto a road of success or ruin, depending on how you look at things. I'm going to go ahead and use the encompassing word everything, and say that everything in life can be viewed in a positive light. Of course, this is not entirely a good thing because it's also commonly associated with insanity. Today I'm going to teach you, through example, how to be optimistic.

-----
Scenario: You got a bad grade in a class.

Negative Reaction: You go kill yourself because your life/career is now over.
Positive Reaction: You view this as a good assessment that you need to work harder, or cheat harder. You then go on the have the best cheating semester of your life next year. Or you worked hard if you actually have morals.
Possible Reason Why Positive Reaction Is Not Possible: Your parents locked you in the basement for 10 years to punish you.

-----
Scenario: You find out that no one likes you. Also, everyone thinks you smell.

Negative Reaction: You cry and mope about it all day, for several days. Then you start making emo blog/xanga/livejournal/myspace/facebook/w/e posts about it and hope that someone leaves a comment saying that they're your friend, or just that you don't smell. When no one comments, then you start asking people over AIM to list out your faults, as if that'll make you feel any better.
Positive Reaction: Obviously you're doing something terribly wrong if no one at all likes you. Take a little time to think about why, but don't over think it. Then go take a shower and use soap and shampoo for the first time in your life.
Possible Reason Why Positive Reaction Is Not Possible: You smell so bad that you get banned from the internet.

-----
Scenario: A boulder of epic proportions falls on you and crushes both of your weak spindly legs.

Negative Reaction: Cry about it.
Positive Reaction: None.
Possible Reason Why Positive Reaction Is Not Possible: A boulder just fell on you. Did I mention it was of epic proportions, especially in relation to your legs?

-----
Scenario: Your television gets stuck on a baseball channel and you can't turn the tv or volume off.

Negative Reaction: Whine about how baseball is a dumb sport.
False Positive Reaction: Watch for a few minutes to try and get a better understanding of the sport.
True Positive Reaction: The sport sucks so don't bother watching. It's just a few fat guys standing around getting paid millions. Go outside and play some sports instead of just watching it.
Possible Reason Why Positive Reaction Is Not Possible: You're so lazy you've reached the point where you can't move anymore.

-----
Scenario: You make a blog post and you wanted to have 5 scenarios, but you're too tired to get more than 4.

Negative Reaction: You consider yourself a massive failure and hang your head in shame. Then you fall asleep and fall out of your chair while a mouse crawls over the useless lump that is your body.
Positive Reaction: Get too tired to care anymore.
Possible Reason Why Positive Reaction Is Not Possible: Yep, don't care anymore.