Just recently another fence has been erected around the stage area in the quad. This is much to the surprise of everyone at the school, even the administrators. Someone very close to the principal has said that he overheard the principal mutter "Where the heck did that fence come from...? I wish people would tell me things."
Everyone had thought that the month long construction that was going on in the stage area was already complete. Four very elegant looking poles had been put up, much to the delight of several students. Person A said "Now the quad looks much more elegant with four giant toilet paper rolls sitting there. Oh wait, those are concrete? Never mind then. Our school sucks." At first, speculation was running amok over what the four poles were to be used for. Popular theories included the foundation for an overhang, a big trampoline, and a playground. However, people soon came to the conclusion that they were just going to stay there and hinder people's views during the homecoming skits. "I already have to deal with fat kids. Now I have poles in my way?" complained a midget.
An interview with the construction workers did not lead to any new knowledge. "Uh... I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm actually just from the local prison. They just told me to push these random levers around. It's actually quite fun. [giggle]"
Our school is retarded.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Bored?
Hey! Ever feel like you have too much time on your hands and you don't know what to do with it? It sucks even more when its a school day right? I mean, just sitting there knowing that you should be doing something, but having no homework to do. Well, I have taken it upon me to help you poor souls out with a hit list of things to do. And don't worry, even if you do have homework to do, you can still follow this list. That is how good of a list it is.
1. Go on AIM
Even though it is labeled as instant messenger, it will easily suck up your time like a vacuum sucks up dust bunnies. For some reason, time just flies when on AIM. It probably has something to do with the fact that there are such intelligent conversations going on, such as debates on religion, the ethics of business, and how to effectively not only poverty and world hunger on Earth, but also on Mars. Actually, the conversations are more on topics such as which fast food restaurant to go to, how to cheat on tests, and laughing at "people of lower intelligence" ( also read as Joey).
2. Facebook
Another great pasttime is going onto facebook and doing... uh... whatever. I actually do not understand how some people can spend so much time on facebook, considering there is not much to do. I suppose you could write on people's walls, and since these walls are for the public eye, try to act witty and smart. Or you could join groups and stuff. But for some reason some people are able to spend hours on there. Obviously I must be missing out on a key feature. Perhaps it is a cool game where you walk around and visit care bears to save rainbows.
3. Get a job
When I say get a job, I mean first find a job. When I say find a job, I mean ask other people for openings. When I say ask other people, I mean ask other people and tangent off into talking about how mean your teachers are. And when I say tangent, I mean take the derivative and find dy/dx. When I say dy/dx, you know I'm a nerd.
4. Eat
Eating only when you're hungry is a thing of the past. Eating a lot will give you cheeks of steel. And then when someone shoots you in the cheek the bullet will bounce off. Also, you could pair this action with just about anything else. Eat and facebook. Eat and myspace. Eat and run. The world is in your hands.
5. Sleep
After doing all of that stuff it is a good idea to take a cat nap every now and then. Now being now, and then being now.
6. Talk about the white plague.
Self explanatory.
7. Play Online Games
Go play online games that are composed of stick figures and which are fun for a maximum of 4.9 seconds. Also, watch flash based animations that are supposed to be funny but only make you chuckle. Lastly, listen to music that totally distracts you. For example, since Eminem music is so widely accepted by everyone, it will not be distracting. Play some System of A Down with your volume turned all the way up.
8. Make a stupid blog post.
This post is an example.
What do you think of my hit list??
1. Go on AIM
Even though it is labeled as instant messenger, it will easily suck up your time like a vacuum sucks up dust bunnies. For some reason, time just flies when on AIM. It probably has something to do with the fact that there are such intelligent conversations going on, such as debates on religion, the ethics of business, and how to effectively not only poverty and world hunger on Earth, but also on Mars. Actually, the conversations are more on topics such as which fast food restaurant to go to, how to cheat on tests, and laughing at "people of lower intelligence" ( also read as Joey).
2. Facebook
Another great pasttime is going onto facebook and doing... uh... whatever. I actually do not understand how some people can spend so much time on facebook, considering there is not much to do. I suppose you could write on people's walls, and since these walls are for the public eye, try to act witty and smart. Or you could join groups and stuff. But for some reason some people are able to spend hours on there. Obviously I must be missing out on a key feature. Perhaps it is a cool game where you walk around and visit care bears to save rainbows.
3. Get a job
When I say get a job, I mean first find a job. When I say find a job, I mean ask other people for openings. When I say ask other people, I mean ask other people and tangent off into talking about how mean your teachers are. And when I say tangent, I mean take the derivative and find dy/dx. When I say dy/dx, you know I'm a nerd.
4. Eat
Eating only when you're hungry is a thing of the past. Eating a lot will give you cheeks of steel. And then when someone shoots you in the cheek the bullet will bounce off. Also, you could pair this action with just about anything else. Eat and facebook. Eat and myspace. Eat and run. The world is in your hands.
5. Sleep
After doing all of that stuff it is a good idea to take a cat nap every now and then. Now being now, and then being now.
6. Talk about the white plague.
Self explanatory.
7. Play Online Games
Go play online games that are composed of stick figures and which are fun for a maximum of 4.9 seconds. Also, watch flash based animations that are supposed to be funny but only make you chuckle. Lastly, listen to music that totally distracts you. For example, since Eminem music is so widely accepted by everyone, it will not be distracting. Play some System of A Down with your volume turned all the way up.
8. Make a stupid blog post.
This post is an example.
What do you think of my hit list??
Monday, July 17, 2006
0 comments
I've gotten to the point where I am so bored that almost anything seems amusing. Such as looking through random blog's in search of something interesting. One thing stands out when I look at these blogs, one very sad thing. I'm sure that no one with a blog likes this type of thing but for some reason these bloggers keep blogging and blogging, even with the terrible curse. What curse am I talking about? It's actually more of a sickness. I like to call it the "0 comments" disease. Others call it the disease of anonymity. Still others simply call it the "NO ONE CARES" syndrome.
I find it amusing to see one person type up multiple paragraphs of their thoughts almost daily, and at the bottom of each post, there is that little thing called 0 comments. Seriously, I go through a months worth of posts, and there are a total of 0 comments. Well, maybe I'm exagerrating. Every once in a blue moon there's a spam bot commenting on the wide spread benefits of buying a bed of rock. And, sometimes there are people like me who respond with a simple, "No one likes you. Just give up" sort of comment.
And then the truly sad part comes into play. The author is stuck with the dilemma of keeping the odd comments, or acting as the all powerful moderator and deleting them. On one side of the fence, assuming there is some sort of metaphorical fence here, the author has finally recieved a comment! Someone, even if it is a spam bot, someone, has finally read his/her blog! Keeping the comment would tell the rest of the world that "yes, people do read my blog. I am popular."
But then again, this kind of oppurtunity doesn't present itself too often. The author finally has a chance to be the all mighty moderator of the blog, and strike down any comments deemed unworthy. Maybe power should be used at this moment to show the wrath of the author.
Still, none of that really matters. The point is, these people have serious problems. Think about it. People who talk to themselves in real life are looked at funny. These bloggers are essentially talking to themselves because no one else is listening. We should treat these people the same way by throwing them in a cage and forcing them to fight lions. But wait you say! Blogs could be like diaries, or journals right? WRONG! Journals aren't put out for everyone else to see, unlike blogs. So you are wrong. Again. Get used to it.
However, this whole lion punishment may seem quite a dangerous thing for me, seeing as I am treading a fine line with this blog too. But see, there is a difference between me and the common blogger with 0 comments. I'm not crazy.
I find it amusing to see one person type up multiple paragraphs of their thoughts almost daily, and at the bottom of each post, there is that little thing called 0 comments. Seriously, I go through a months worth of posts, and there are a total of 0 comments. Well, maybe I'm exagerrating. Every once in a blue moon there's a spam bot commenting on the wide spread benefits of buying a bed of rock. And, sometimes there are people like me who respond with a simple, "No one likes you. Just give up" sort of comment.
And then the truly sad part comes into play. The author is stuck with the dilemma of keeping the odd comments, or acting as the all powerful moderator and deleting them. On one side of the fence, assuming there is some sort of metaphorical fence here, the author has finally recieved a comment! Someone, even if it is a spam bot, someone, has finally read his/her blog! Keeping the comment would tell the rest of the world that "yes, people do read my blog. I am popular."
But then again, this kind of oppurtunity doesn't present itself too often. The author finally has a chance to be the all mighty moderator of the blog, and strike down any comments deemed unworthy. Maybe power should be used at this moment to show the wrath of the author.
Still, none of that really matters. The point is, these people have serious problems. Think about it. People who talk to themselves in real life are looked at funny. These bloggers are essentially talking to themselves because no one else is listening. We should treat these people the same way by throwing them in a cage and forcing them to fight lions. But wait you say! Blogs could be like diaries, or journals right? WRONG! Journals aren't put out for everyone else to see, unlike blogs. So you are wrong. Again. Get used to it.
However, this whole lion punishment may seem quite a dangerous thing for me, seeing as I am treading a fine line with this blog too. But see, there is a difference between me and the common blogger with 0 comments. I'm not crazy.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Transitive Property
Here is a life altering question that I think everyone should ask themselves. Would it, or would it, be cool if the transitive property applied to real life? I have taken the effort and time to produce some examples of how cool it would be.
1. Let's say... I am smart. Jinghao is smart. Therefore I am Jinghao! And now I can run around as Jinghao and do weird stuff, such as mass murder people. And then I pop back as Patrick and run off into safety. =) Heck to make it even easier, just say both people are guys. And if the person u want to be is of the opposite gender, just say both are carbon life forms. Unless it is Joey. Joey is an alien.
2. Another userful possibility is when you are in a money jam. Let's say something costs 500 dollars, but you find that you don't have that much. Well, some people would work hard for the extra money but the cool thing to do would be to first state that 500 is an even number. 2 is also even. Therefore, 2 dollars is the same as 500! And voila! You only spent 2 dollars on that expensive useless piece of junk PS3!!
3. Last, but not least, how is this? At night, people usually are sleeping in a dark room, unless you are like me and are up playing a farming game. Anyways, Person A is in a black place. Outer space is a black place. Therefore...dundundun.... Person A is in space!!! ahahahaha die!!!!!!!
So, it is quite a pity that math is not always apparent in the real world. I mean, I could go on about taking the integral of random objects such as a desk, and turning it into what it was before, such as a tree!
1. Let's say... I am smart. Jinghao is smart. Therefore I am Jinghao! And now I can run around as Jinghao and do weird stuff, such as mass murder people. And then I pop back as Patrick and run off into safety. =) Heck to make it even easier, just say both people are guys. And if the person u want to be is of the opposite gender, just say both are carbon life forms. Unless it is Joey. Joey is an alien.
2. Another userful possibility is when you are in a money jam. Let's say something costs 500 dollars, but you find that you don't have that much. Well, some people would work hard for the extra money but the cool thing to do would be to first state that 500 is an even number. 2 is also even. Therefore, 2 dollars is the same as 500! And voila! You only spent 2 dollars on that expensive useless piece of junk PS3!!
3. Last, but not least, how is this? At night, people usually are sleeping in a dark room, unless you are like me and are up playing a farming game. Anyways, Person A is in a black place. Outer space is a black place. Therefore...dundundun.... Person A is in space!!! ahahahaha die!!!!!!!
So, it is quite a pity that math is not always apparent in the real world. I mean, I could go on about taking the integral of random objects such as a desk, and turning it into what it was before, such as a tree!
Monday, March 27, 2006
Safety Drills
All this recent hoopala about bomb threats has got me thinking about situations like this. And then I got to thinking about other danger situations such as fires, earthquakes, and even the occasional azn that snaps and decides to shoot people at school. Well, I'm here once again to englighten you as to why the current methods of protecting ourselves from these natural disasters is inadequate, and futile.
First of all, lets take a close look at what we do when there is a fire. We walk out to the GRASS. Isn't grass one of the first things to CATCH ON FIRE? And then we stand there for ages hoping that the flame doesn't spread to the grass because if it does, we're toast. See, my proposal is to make this process more efficient. It seems that the goal of the administration is to have all the students catch flame so they can make a video called America's Funniest Students. Well, instead of waiting on the grass for the fire to come to us, we should just all go to the fire and jump in.
And with earthquakes, it's much safer to stay inside where stuff can fall on you, or so I've been told. I mean, who knows what could happen outside. The sky might fall on you, and you would end up just like Chicken Little. Based on what we do with a fire (running to the fire), I'm suprised that we aren't instructed to run under the biggest object you can find.
And with a gunman, it's really smart to stay put. Usually, it's some pissed off kid that wants to kill this one person. And this one person is stuck in whatever class they're in. Not very hard to figure out how to kill that person. And stackign a few chairs up against the door will really fool the killer. I mean, how the heck could any one figure out that you just have to push the thing? Genius.
So everyone is well prepared in the event that one of these things happen, which they have not for about 50 gabajillion years. But... what if more then one occurred at once? Lets say there is a fire, and an earthquake. Half the class will be running outside wildy onto the grass and falling through cracks in the ground into the depths of Mordor while the other half wil be burning up under their desks while stuff fall on them anyways. Not a pretty sight.
If there was a fire and random shooters, then that would be horrible. Just get one of those machine guns that have 5000 bullets and shoot around the grass. People won't know whether to run away into the fire or stay and get hit by bullets. Some people like Joey may even be unlucky enough to get shot while running into the fire and burn up.
Earthquake + Shooter. Well, this is good cuz stuff will fall on people and the shooter will be hurt because the sky will fall on him. Or her....no it's a him.
If all of these happened... well... all I can say is there won't be school for awhile.
We need to have an UFO drill where we all run away as fast as possible.
First of all, lets take a close look at what we do when there is a fire. We walk out to the GRASS. Isn't grass one of the first things to CATCH ON FIRE? And then we stand there for ages hoping that the flame doesn't spread to the grass because if it does, we're toast. See, my proposal is to make this process more efficient. It seems that the goal of the administration is to have all the students catch flame so they can make a video called America's Funniest Students. Well, instead of waiting on the grass for the fire to come to us, we should just all go to the fire and jump in.
And with earthquakes, it's much safer to stay inside where stuff can fall on you, or so I've been told. I mean, who knows what could happen outside. The sky might fall on you, and you would end up just like Chicken Little. Based on what we do with a fire (running to the fire), I'm suprised that we aren't instructed to run under the biggest object you can find.
And with a gunman, it's really smart to stay put. Usually, it's some pissed off kid that wants to kill this one person. And this one person is stuck in whatever class they're in. Not very hard to figure out how to kill that person. And stackign a few chairs up against the door will really fool the killer. I mean, how the heck could any one figure out that you just have to push the thing? Genius.
So everyone is well prepared in the event that one of these things happen, which they have not for about 50 gabajillion years. But... what if more then one occurred at once? Lets say there is a fire, and an earthquake. Half the class will be running outside wildy onto the grass and falling through cracks in the ground into the depths of Mordor while the other half wil be burning up under their desks while stuff fall on them anyways. Not a pretty sight.
If there was a fire and random shooters, then that would be horrible. Just get one of those machine guns that have 5000 bullets and shoot around the grass. People won't know whether to run away into the fire or stay and get hit by bullets. Some people like Joey may even be unlucky enough to get shot while running into the fire and burn up.
Earthquake + Shooter. Well, this is good cuz stuff will fall on people and the shooter will be hurt because the sky will fall on him. Or her....no it's a him.
If all of these happened... well... all I can say is there won't be school for awhile.
We need to have an UFO drill where we all run away as fast as possible.
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